Comments for RANT with Lazycatfish

Comment on An Idiot’s Travel Blog by CarrieBlant

CarrieBlant — Mon, 19 Nov 2012 16:24:48 +0000

Please, please write “Toilets of the World”, I am your market. My first thought as I embark on any travel adventure is ‘What will the toilet situation be like?!”. I swear, the only thing stopping me from scaling the Himalayas is wondering where one goes to the loo!

Comment on An Idiot’s Travel Blog by Golden Girl

Golden Girl — Wed, 26 Sep 2012 23:55:20 +0000

You have revived memories of travels abroad in days of yore where I have occasionally indulged in a bit of sunbathing and swimming on the odd beach and afterwards having boarded a Dolmus (if in Turkey -the little buses that transport you around) to get back to wherever I was staying – found myself sunburned (it suddenly seems to hit you like a sledgehammer)- but not in an even all over-might turn to a tan later -kind of way -but with patchy varying shades of redness, pinkness and some white with freckles.-ness In fact if I spent 1 second more longer lying on one side of my body than the other then the shade of red could be unbelievably around a hundred times more intense on the -cooked for more than one second side -but even then only on a limited strip on my skin-because part of my side might be slightly shaded from the sun . In fact if I accidentally omitted to cover an amoeba sized area of my skin with factor 5000 sun cream, I would get an amoeba sized third degree burn on that bit.I would find I had literally turned ’50 shades of Red’; have sand stuck to my body where the sun cream had been -despite my best efforts to wash or clean if off with a towel. Damp murky hair plastered to my head after swimming in the sea (with the obligatory sun burnt bit of exposed skin in the centre parting) , blisters on my feet (with plasters added) from the new holiday sandals, face shiny and armpits sweaty from the heat, skin on the lips starting to peel, a damp patch on my beach bag from accidentally sitting on it and squashing open the tube of sun cream, and a grubby bit on my t-shirt from it ending up in a pile under the soles of said sandals.
And just before the Dolmus sets off -and the burnt skin is just starting to contract and I started to shake and feel cold as I enter the sunstroke phase.. a small group of (usually) Scandinavian girls who have also been on the beach, gracefully jump on -with completely even tans – not a strap mark in sight – because even if their straps have stayed in the same position all day the sun finds its way somehow around and under them to bless them with a wonderful ‘ One shade of sublime-almost natural looking – golden brown skin tone’They may have been swimming in the sea but their silky long blonde hair looks like it has just been gently washed in soft fresh water with Johnson’s Baby Shampoo. No blisters, red noses or sweaty armpits. No stained t-shirts or shorts (probably because they were probably wearing some cheap -but on them- stunning looking sarong -wrapped and tied in some amazing but simple (and completely unfathomable to me) kind of way , that never falls down (somewhat different to my- wrapped in a table cloth -that never stays up -with a reef knot -kind of look) Happy, smiling, relaxed ,looking forward to an an evening of wine, food and dance -as opposed to shivering in bed in the dark covered in After Sun lotion and dosed up with painkillers, feeling cold despite warm night time temperatures but unable to bear the touch of even a soft white sheet on acutely sensitive skin.
(Although as you would expect -the sand always found it’s way on to the sheets even if I made sure that it didn’t get within a mile of the bedroom- but ensured the feeling of death by a thousand scrapes of an emery board -sensation).
I must stress that beach stuff was only ever a small part of any holiday -and I nearly always used high factor cream and the sarong often doubled up as a total body cover up – to block out the sun – but the bastard was out to inflict damage on me -no matter what. You can imagine the immense relief I experienced when the knowledge that tanning is bad for you became widespread and pale and interesting became acceptable rather than coming home from abroad to hysterical laughter when you came back the same shade of white and freckle as before you went. Rremember those comments delivered with mild sarcasm or veiled sympathy – like ‘are you sure you’ve been to Greece on holiday? -because you haven’t got much of a tan!’ ( I do) Which also reminds me of someone I know the early days of spray tans who went off to a hot country on holiday looking very brown but over the two week holiday the spray tan had faded ..and came back very white ..which seemed really funny at the time because it was the complete antithesis of what used to be -for many people one of the essential components of the holiday in a hot country experience..
Now any redness i experience is confined to small areas of shoulders or nose when the sun is unexpectedly hot (or just unexpectedly comes out). But I would like to bet that those Scandinavian girls who might now wisely sit in the shade of a beach umbrella all day will still emerge with a perfect all over golden glow that no doubt (and hopefully ) has no impact on their health whatsoever – or perhaps still look great with naturally pale skin (and good on them).
I guess some people are born to always look cool and unruffled on holiday and some are …not.

Comment on Book Rant – 50 shades of Grey – Oh My, What a pile of discarded panties by lazycatfish

lazycatfish — Mon, 24 Sep 2012 22:15:34 +0000

Hello my dear. I hope you are well. What are you up to these days. Have you got a job yet following our wonderful redundantee status? Gee it’s fun signing on! Email me for a catch up. Sharon has my email address. x

Comment on Book Rant – 50 shades of Grey – Oh My, What a pile of discarded panties by David

David — Sun, 23 Sep 2012 16:56:23 +0000

Hi Kath,

It is I, David from Development ( well hey! not that kind of development .. nudge , wink , amazingly witty inuendo) not tis plain dave from upstairs where you used to work and Sharon told me you had a blog. I am pleased to say Diane bought “50″ about a month ago and has only got to page 23. Sadly this is not because of my stimulatiing repartee or my amazing sexual prowness (that she find comparisons oddious) -nope you’re right its very very dull and silly.

Why can’t I write this sort of crap and be hugely rich or you, Kevin’s mind was a cesspit but it never came over in those even duller management reports.

Well keep it up! ( that’s enough, Ed) love David

Comment on Book Rant – 50 shades of Grey – Oh My, What a pile of discarded panties by Marika Rpunkt

Marika Rpunkt — Wed, 19 Sep 2012 15:28:56 +0000

*******
I just laughed my head off… Seriously, the paragraph with all the “hitting with stuff” was brilliant! What an excellent review, thank you so much! I congratulate you for making it through the book. I only flipped through the pages in the bookshop and the endless multiple orgasm were simply too much for me.

Comment on About by John

John — Thu, 13 Sep 2012 14:44:13 +0000

As an anecdote to ‘Fifty shades of…..’ your review took the biscuit! I have forwarded it to various people who hitherto, I thought had a smattering of intelligence but who have since shown an interest in the WHOLE Fifty shades series.
Brilliant stuff. Well done, as someone said in the comment section, you should write your own.

Comment on I’m writing a Novel. Oh God! by Hilary Milne

Hilary Milne — Mon, 20 Aug 2012 11:16:09 +0000

Yup. Your review of Shades of Grey on Amazon brought me here too, so something good may come from that rubbish book yet!

Comment on Computer Rant – Why I don’t get, why they don’t get, why I don’t get IT. by authentic christian louboutin shoes on sale

authentic christian louboutin shoes on sale — Mon, 13 Aug 2012 05:43:18 +0000

Great post,I am just getting my new blog up and running and I have been thinking about all the things I could write about. You have just increased that list 10 fold.I owe you a Starbucks coffee for that block post. LOL. Thanks a million.

Comment on Computer Rant – Why I don’t get, why they don’t get, why I don’t get IT. by Nicky

Nicky — Fri, 10 Aug 2012 15:45:50 +0000

Haha…greatest & funniest technophobe exposition ever!! xx

Comment on Computer Rant – Why I don’t get, why they don’t get, why I don’t get IT. by lazycatfish

lazycatfish — Tue, 07 Aug 2012 14:37:56 +0000

Oh Anne that sounds painfully familiar haha!